so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
