I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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