We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
