I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
