her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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