So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
