Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You can't just leave with hair like that
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
