Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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