at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
