Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
