while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I smell like Dick and happiness
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