He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
