And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
