Midget sex pt 2 tonight
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
