If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Less talking, more tequila
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Randomize
