Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
