the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
