I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize