Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
