Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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