the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
