this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Randomize
