i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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