i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize