You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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