she woke up with a sticky ear
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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