i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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