arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
