Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
