i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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