Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize