Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We left the knife in your bed.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize