I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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