woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
