I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
