Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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