I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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