she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
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