Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
