Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
