We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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