How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize