He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
