we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
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