I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Still dying that you shit outside
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
