Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
