i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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