people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
