does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Randomize
