Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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