I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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