No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize