Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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