Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
