All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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