If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize