...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
