i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
