I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
