none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
