I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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