My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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