I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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