Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
