I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
