Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize