And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
