Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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