sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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